No Rest for a Weary Chef

So I got punched in the face by the real world about a month ago.

Everything has finally been set forth into motion--here I am, now finally relocated to Tennessee, where I've been a student at the Art Institute of Tennessee-Nashville for over a month now, taking three prerequisite classes four days a week in pursuit of my Associate's in Culinary Arts.  I also got my first real job ever a few weeks into living here--waiting tables at a locally owned restaurant--and even more recently got my second real job ever, also waiting tables at another locally owned place, a marina grill by the lake (the second is only for tips and only when they need me, but still).  Also, a few days after I got here, my car had to be repaired, which plummeted the hubs and I into a $1700 debt to the mechanic.

Guys, I'm not gonna lie to you.  This is hard.  I mean really, really hard.

College has absolutely ZERO resemblance to high school whatsoever, which left me feeling relatively unprepared at first.  Sure, only having a class a day four days a week is pretty bangin', if your classes aren't three and a half to four and a half hours long at minimum on top of a 1 hour, 15 minute commute to and from school.  AND IT REALLY SUCKS when you either have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning to battle traffic to make it to an 8:00am class on time, or battle traffic on the way home because your 3:00 class isn't over until 6:30pm (and having class from 1-5 isn't a much better alternative, especially for a Friday).  Either way, SCREW NASHVILLE TRAFFIC.

And don't even get me started on the commercial kitchen.

I knew it was gonna be hard.  There's no way working in the culinary industry won't be hard purely because of the nature of the business--you're catering to customers who want their food cooked safely to their exact specifications and in a highly timely and aesthetically pleasing manner all day long.

But guys.

The commercial kitchen is so utterly foreign to me that I make the dumbest rookie mistakes.  It's not like my tiny little home kitchen where I'm used to my limited appliances and ingredients, where, aside from ensuring things don't melt or sit at room temp too long or burn, I'm pretty much free to take my time and thoroughly enjoy cooking.  You're talking 20+ culinary amateurs in a kitchen roughly the size of a large living room and dining room combined, give or take a few square feet.  It is chaos.  Not only are most of us sluggish in pace compared to professionals, but we stutter and stumble and forget things or don't listen properly or don't pay attention and we pay dearly for our mistakes.  Because our Chef is a great guy by all means, I respect him and think he's rather awesome, but in no sense of the term does Chef take anyone's bull.  Nor does he like to repeat himself (which sucks for me, the compulsive check-one-more-time-just-to-make-sure person.  I'll read a recipe two or three times before even starting and that doesn't count my frequent references to it while I cook).

And the more I work in the kitchen, the more I find that I have so much growing and development to do, both as a chef and a person; way more than I ever thought before.  

Sometimes I feel like a lost six-year-old weaving in and out of everyone else's feet, terrified and confused and also kind of tired.  I promise, I don't actually just wander around--Chef would have my pelt for that--but it's so easy to get lost, even on simple recipes.  Cooking things that should take us like, an hour or two tops and send us home early take us all class (and Chef is not gentle in voicing that to us).  It's not like we're spit roasting some high class, fancy French portabella breast au veal over smoked apricots and pepper jelly (not sure if that's a real thing, but if it is, no way in Hell could I produce that).  It took us like, four hours to make SOUP!  BASIC SOUP!  CREAM OF MUSHROOM, SPLIT PEA, CHICKEN WATERZOOI (which is pretty much cream of chicken)!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?!?!

It's exhausting.  It's madness.  And a good deal of the time, I leave with my confidence missing a support beam.

That's not to say my confidence won't rebuild itself--I've made only A's on my tests and quizzes so far (including my culinary midterms) and was told by my lecture hall Chef (whom I also really like) to join our school's equivalent to Food Jeopardy because I'm good with food questions.

It just takes so much getting used to, and it's very overwhelming all at once.  Now granted, everyone I've vented to about this is absolutely right about one thing: I'm only just starting out.  I'm only 5 weeks into my very first year of post-secondary education ever, so in a way, I am like a confused six-year-old.  As my dad very nicely put it earlier over Skype, this is essentially like learning a whole new language.

But you know what guys?  I love learning languages.  And I'm pretty good at it.  今私は日本語を話せいるだ。Und ich spreche Deutsche.  (Well, not much German).

The point is, as hard as it is right now, I will not give up on it.  There's been plenty of times recently that I've wondered, "If this is what it's going to be like, do I really want to be in culinary?"

Well I certainly wasn't questioning it before.  And I'm not going to miss out on this.  I love food, I love cooking, and I am capable of learning proper techniques and applying them to make my food even better.

You know how I know?  Because I've been using what I learned at home.  

We made the mother sauces one day, I royally screwed up.  Then I went home, made Bechamel and turned it into potato corn chowder.  

I understand the mechanics behind making emulsions now, and why they work the way they do.  I applied the principals of sugar stabilizing foaming eggs and made cheesecake that I'll be entering for a contest.  (Don't worry, I promise that will be in a post).

In fact, I'm starting to become capable of making my own recipes now, like I always wanted to do, because I'm learning the purpose of all the ingredients in a recipe.  I can tell you without hesitating that when heat is applied: fat melts.  Sugar caramelizes.  Water evaporates.  When I think about making food now, I think about how the ingredients will react with one another, with air, with heat, what the texture will be like.

I'm paying way more attention now to the TCS factor of so many foods that I knew nothing about before.  Never before my classes would I have known how to chill soup in a two-stage process.

But most of all, I know I can do this, and I know I want it, because when I get home after a long day of being scolded by the Chef, burning myself, getting cut, ruining my food, and battling work traffic all the way down the Interstate, what do I want to do?

I want to bake a cake.

Even though I have so so so much more to say guys, I've got to end this one here.  It's almost 2am and I have class tomorrow--in the commercial kitchen, starting at 2:50.  

Tomorrow is starch day.  Potatoes, pasta, and rice galore!  Promise I'll update the blog again.  Just bear with me.

And for the over 1,000 people who have taken the time to read my humble little blog, even when I haven't updated this thing in so long, 

thanks, guys.  I couldn't do this without you.

ECHO out.

The Cake of Your ..:**~DREAMS~**:..

...So, who doesn't like cake, amiright?!?!

(This guy and the Cabbage Guy were my favorites from the show, beeteedubs)

My dad got me the coolest baking tools gift basket recently, and it came with some awesome stuff to work with (FINALLY, A REAL PIPING KIT!!).  So naturally, I've been hard at work playing around with it to see what does what, what I'm good at, what I'm decent at, and what I just plain suck at.

Experiment 1: Portal Cupcakes

I spent last week with mah boyfriend, and during those magical seven days, I got heavy into the gorgeous gameplay and compelling story that are the makeup of Portal 2.  The first one is one of my favorite games ever, and the second one (still not finished, DON'T SPOIL IT GUYS) is blowing my mind.  Anyway, I thought I'd channel my Aperature Science Labs spirit and frost my cupcakes with a Portal color scheme.

I had two major problems with these: one was that the longer I piped, the warmer the frosting got, thus melting and not retaining shape too well (see: top leftmost cupcake).

The other was that I didn't realize I forgot the EGGS in the batter until it was too late.  My cupcakes sank in the middle and crumbled at the slightest touch, and had no weight or richness at all.  Needless to say, I haven't forgotten to double check my ingredients since.

My favorite of this cupcake bunch are actually the front three: the one on the left is because I was able to see the beginnings of two-toned frosting at work.  The middle, just because those pearls are so gorgeous and classy looking.  My dad got me four bags of those bad boys, and they just add such a delightful pop of color to anything!  And the rightmost is because I love the layered tier look (which, coincidentally, came from trying to cover up the giant frosting blob mess that was my first attempt at piping a buttercream rose.

Speaking of which...

Experiment 2: Rosy Spice Cake

Determined to make a beautiful frosting rose for once in my life, I spent one morning watching YouTube tutorials for making them.  Turns out, my hamartia* was not having a flower nail.

For those of you who don't know (just as I didn't), a flower nail is basically a flat circle with a long stem handle underneath it (like a pizza cutter, but with the blade horizontal instead of vertical).  As it turns out, the flower nail is invaluable for making roses because you can turn the handle effortlessly while you work, instead of rotating your whole hand.  That's what allows the petals to form a proper shape, instead of being stretched and warped.

Seeing how I still don't have a flower nail, I became the Kitchen MacGyver and used my cooking thermometer instead.

The result?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

Man, oh man, the sheer pride I felt when I finally made a real frosting rose.  I imagine it's a lot like curing a disease or having a child, except way less important.

As for the cake itself...

(Someday, I'll figure out how to make the pictures appear larger on the blog without consuming the whole page)

My largest obstacle with this cake was the roses, obviously.  Because the thermometers have very small heads, getting the roses off (which is normally done with scissors) cost me half of the flower's base.  I piped the others directly onto the cake, and some of them turned out better than others (namely, the front three).  However, some green frosting trails not only helped cover up the problematic bottoms of the roses, but also gave the appearance of leafy tendrils as added to the overall aesthetic pleasure of the cake.

Experiment 3: The Rainbow Cake of Your Wildest Dreams

My inspiration for this cake actually came from a fellow food enthusiast that I see a lot on YouTube and Facebook: Ann from How To Cook That, who did a killer Rainbow Heart Cake tutorial.  The technique she used was randomly piping brightly colored frosting into a prepared pan, which I decided to replicate here (except I just drizzled it in with a spoon, it was easier than piping, plus my batter was runny anyway):

And if you think that looks cool, check them out after they bake:

The photos actually do a lot of justice to the bright hues.  I loved the way they turned out!

The external decoration was a bit of an improvised challenge, if you will.  I wanted it to have color, but I didn't want the whole outside to be a rainbow, too.  So I came up with a basic plan: most of the frosting would be white, but I would pipe on some colorful swirls as a pretty accent.

 And I was pretty satisfied with my results, actually:

The green and blue were a bit overpowering, however; I globbed spoonfuls of different colored frosting into one bag, except the green and blue kind of went in side-by-side, I ended up with way more of those two than the pink and yellow.  BUT, when I got to the border, the other two not only starting bleeding through, but the colors began combining and produced purple as well (I didn't even have purple)!  As I got closer to the end of my frosting, the colors began melting together and becoming dull, hence why the bottom border isn't quite so eye-catching.  The beads were spur-of-the-moment, and I feel like they help balance out all the green and blue.

 As for the inside...

BAM!

BAAAAAM!!

CHECK.  THAT.  OUT.

I couldn't even contain my delight as we cut into the cake.  The colors just explode against one another, and both the outside frosting and the rainbow inside really compliment each other!  Seriously, it looks so magical, I'm beaming with pride while I type.  I don't like to be conceded, but I was really, really proud of this cake.  Overall, it's one of my favorite creations so far, mostly because I just went crazy with the creativity.  Most of it (even the rainbow inside) was planned as I went, and it was actually pretty liberating, and highly rewarding upon getting the finished product.

BONUS ROUND: COOKIES

My dad and I were hankering for a late night snack last night, so I took the opportunity to play around with some cookie decor.  The bottoms got a little dark around the edges, but overall, they were nice and buttery (it was just Betty Crocker mix, anyway).  I piped some of them with an open circle tip, and others I just spread the icing on.  The ones that got piped came out a little flat and mushy, because I made such fat icing lines which were squished when I pressed them into sprinkles.  However, I really liked the polka-dotted ones, and the ones with pearls (again, obviously).  The colors also stood out really nicely against the plain backdrop of the frosting and the cookie.

Fun Fact: the middle cookie with a red sprinkle symbol and the yellow sprinkle one near it both have Japanese Kanji on them.  The red one says Ka (火), which means fire, and the yellow one says Kin (金), which means gold or wealth.

Man, I miss Japanese class.

If you're from any of my Japanese classes and you're reading this (and you all know who you are), talk to me in the comments: suggest my next project/recipe, tell me what you think of this one, write me a whole paragraph in 日本語 if you want to.  #レプリセント~

ECHO out.

Marsala Meatballs and Crabby Flatbread

WHO WANTS MEATBALLS?

I think I'm gonna use this gif for every post from now on.

So my dad and I are both chefs and food lovers in our own right, and now that I'm staying with him for a little while, we can kind of bump off each other's culinary inspiration and make some really bangin' food.  We've done a lot of cooking in the last week, and I figured I'd go ahead and start with one of my favorites.

If there's one thing I love making, it's meatballs.  I mean, seriously, can you go wrong with meatballs?  Even if you mess them up, you can still make all kinds of other stuff with them!  They taste great by themselves or with some pasta or maybe roasted vegetables, and as soon as you stick a toothpick in them, BAM.  Fancy hors d'oeuvres right there.

I've made meatballs plenty of times before, and each time, I've tried to do at least a little something to improve them--there's been times I've baked them, simmered them in a pan with a little oil, or maybe some pasta sauce.  But my favorite, and everyone else's unanimous favorite, is Marsala meatballs.

The secret?  Mushrooms.  You want mushrooms right there in the skillet cracklin' and sizzlin' and baskin' in all that warm, wine-y goodness.  The meatballs will taste pretty great depending on how you season them, but the mushrooms are your flavor secret weapon--they soak up all the flavor of everything around them and explode in your mouth.  This I have learned time and time again--people tell me the meatballs taste great, but the mushrooms just make the dish.

Marsala Meatballs a la Portabellas

Yields: 7-10 large meatballs

Now I know what you guys are thinking: "What's that delicious-looking pizza square thing on the left side of the plate?"  Well as it happens, that was my dad's culinary contribution to the meal.  His concoction was Crabby Flatbread, a killer combination of fresh crab meat, Ranch dressing, and shredded Parm atop a flatbread crust.  Since it wasn't my creation, I'm not at liberty to write the recipe... at least, until I pester him for permission, 'cuz that stuff was goooooooood.

Ingredients:

1 lb. ground beef

About 3 cups red wine (any kind--I'm not experienced enough yet to suggest variants)

1 cup chopped fresh mushrooms -OR- 1 can mushrooms, drained (doesn't HAVE to be portabellas)

1 egg

3-4 tbsp butter

At least 1/2 cup flour

Bleu cheese crumble (optional, but trust me, it tastes so good)

1 tbsp applewood rub

1 tsp garlic powder/salt

Dash of Oregano, salt, and pepper

Instructions:

1.) Heat a large, deep skillet over high heat.  Once it reaches temperature, melt the butter.

2.) Add a little bit of flour to the butter, mixing well until it combines and forms a thick, gravy-ish consistency.

3.) Add the wine, 1 cup at a time, stirring well.  Allow it to simmer and boil for about 5 minutes, to help break down the alcohol.

4.) Reduce to medium heat and add the mushrooms.  Cover and stir occasionally.

5.) Break up your ground beef in a large bowl.  You can just use your hands (WEAR GLOVES OR MAKE SURE THEY'RE CLEAN!) and break it into large chunks for now.

6.) Add the egg, applewood, garlic, Oregano, and salt and pepper.  I've learned not to be stingy with salt as it is very easy to sacrifice flavor in doing so.  So don't pour it in, but be generous with your dash(es).  Grind and mix together until it becomes a large mass.

7.) Pulling off palm-sized handfuls at a time, shape the meat into balls.  Mine lingered at about 1-inch in diameter, but you can mix it up if you'd like.

8.) Once you've shaped all the meat into balls, begin adding them, one at a time, to the wine and mushroom mixture.

NOTE: you'll want to keep a very close eye on the meatballs for the first 5-10 minutes of cooking.  Use tongs or a spatula and rotate/turn them frequently.  This will allow for even browning and prevent them from sitting on one side for too long, which will cause them to burn.  After they've began to brown properly on all side, you can let them side on one side for a bit longer, to allow the insides to cook undisturbed.

9.) Allow the meatballs to cook, in total, for about 15-20 minutes, covering in between rotations.  Keeping them covered locks in all the moisture, and the built-up steam will help cook them internally!

Also, I'd recommend using a toothpick to poke small holes all the way through the meatballs, from top to bottom.  The tiny openings will help guide heat to the inside of the meatballs, which will cook them thoroughly.  Don't make too many openings though, as that will make the structure unstable and cause them to crumble apart.

10.) Once the meatballs are nice and dark brown on the outside, remove the skillet from heat.  Place meatballs on a plate, on at a time, and use a spoon or scoop to generously glaze them with the Marsala sauce and mushrooms.  Crumble with Bleu cheese and serve hot with an ice cold beverage.

Okay guys, my time on the library computer is almost up for the day, so this is where I'll end it.  Check back every day for new posts!!

ECHO out.

OFFICER ON DECK!!

Told you guys I'd start posting when I could get on a computer!!

Unfortunately, however, I'm using a public library computer--being outside of the comfort and privacy of my own home, I'm not necessarily at liberty to take all the weird, random videos and pictures I normally do.  Ergo, my next few posts won't really be littered with pictures of my face like they usually are.

So anyway, I'm in Kentucky for the next month or so.

I'll be living with my dad here until the beginning of July rolls around--at that point, the Bae and his family will be home from their vacation in DEUTSCHLAND, and I'll be moving in with them in Tennessee.  From there, I start culinary school, guys.

But don't you worry none: my dad is a culinary enthusiast just like me, and if there's anything he likes doing, it's getting crazy in the kitchen and making awesome food.

In short, you guys will have a lot to feast your eyes on this month.

I have a handful of things to post about for you already--I've already been here for a week--so I'll be at work on them as quickly as I can.  I'm limited to public library computers (because I'm an idiot and my laptop charger got left home in DELAWARE), which have time-restricted use, so bear with me.  I promise, there's all kinds of deliciousness coming.

And you know what?  We'll start with one of my favorites.  

Anyone like meatballs?

Good.

ECHO out.

My Final Days At High School

"Jack, take a picture with me!"

"K."

I feel like most of us just don't know what to do with ourselves after our last day of high school.

I mean, the last 13 years of our lives have completely revolved around school.  We've had to wake up early every day, worry about how many classes we have, which ones we want to take, homework and essays and projects.  Our days have been divided into school hours and after school activities.  It's where our social circles were born and have expanded over the years, where we've learned how to fit into social hierarchies and cliques, if we want to fit ourselves into them at all.  We've spent over a decade making sure we have enough credits, volunteer hours, and good grades for what?  To progress to the next level of school.

And it's not until you've finally crossed that finish line, whether you came in soaring or only managed to crawl over, that you realize you don't know anything else.  You lay down in bed every night checking to make sure your alarm is set for the morning before remembering that you don't have to get up early on Monday.  It's only after you picked out your outfit for school tomorrow that you realize you didn't have to.  And the habit of panicking because you forgot if you had homework over the weekend?  Hard one to break.  

Senior Spirit Week (last week of school for seniors), Day 1: "Dress like the other type of senior".  My friend, Danny, is notorious for going all out on special days.

Naturally, we're all bound to have mixed feelings about high school being over.  Everyone's ecstatic about not having to be awake and out the door on the bus driver's time, or fighting to stay awake while your math teacher drones on and on and ooooooon about quadratics that you know you will never use outside of a career in something like engineering.  Thank GOD for not being forced to turn every mundane object in Lord of the Flies into a symbol anymore, or mild to severe frustration that no academic class has ever taught you about filing taxes or getting a good job, but man, can you whip out the Pythagorean theorem like it ain't nobody's business!

Senior Spirit Week, Day 2: "Dress Like You Did as a Freshman Day".  I didn't have an interesting Freshman wardrobe, so I tried out a style I've always wanted to--punk!

But on the other hand, high school has a special place in your heart somewhere.  It's always been the place where you could congregate with all your friends to do whatever it is you guys did: play cards at lunch or sit in the back of the classroom and watch YouTube videos when you should have been taking notes.  You've stood against the trials of popularity and teachers that you're certain hate your guts, sometimes alone.  

Senior Spirit Week, Day 3: "Beach Day".  We legit had a potluck at our table group in English.  Pineapple courtesy of my friend, Cameron.

And let's be honest: you've had more fun at school events than you want to let on.  Homecomings, Prom, and all other dances in between.  The sports events, even when your team royally sucked, were still pretty fun to cheer at, and who doesn't like having an excuse to paint your face up and act crazy?  (Sometimes I do it just because--no reason needed!)  And yes, even the pep rallies were awesome, no matter if you loved them or hated them.  Especially when they started throwing free stuff into the crowds.

I got permission from my Japanese Sensei to bring in homemade ice cream (remember the video project I uploaded?) for the class.  The endeavor wouldn't have been complete without a group selfie (including Jack, who wasn't even in my class).

Plus, look at how far you've made it: school is hard.  You've trucked through 13+ years of it, and after all that hard work, you made it out alive.

Senior Spirit Week, Day 4: "Dress to Impress Day".  But more importantly, SURPRISE CONGA LINE!

So in the end, leaving high school behind is bittersweet.  An entire chapter of your life is closing up for good, and you can never re-open it.

My English table group had a potluck on Beach Day.  Seriously.  We had nachos, donuts, cookies (some of them provided by me), and even pie!  Our teacher was cool with it... as long as she got some of the goods.

At the same time, however, it's closing up this chapter that will lead to new, exciting, enriching chapters of your life.

#SwipinGrandpasGlasses

You wouldn't have made it this far without overcoming the obstacles of your school career.

In other news: VanillaChocolate drops their new album Summer '15

#DemHeelsTho

And if you can make it through high school,

Danny and Ethan, two indispensable members of the Musical Theater Crew.

You've got the whole 'real world' thing under control.

My fabulousness is only outshined by that of Megan.

...anyone know how to adult?

ECHO out.

The Magical ~**Kawaii**~ Ice Cream Post

We just polished off the cooking and recipes unit in Japanese Level 4, which ended with a cooking video project.  

And since it's already done and I still have the file, I figured I'd post it here for you guys to see!

I'll warn you now, this is not my best work.  There were a few problems with the technology I had to work with, so some parts of it are a little cut off, or fuzzy sounding.  Nonetheless, I had fun making this video and worked really hard on it, so I hope you guys enjoy it!

***

MINT CHIP COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM IS A THING NOW BECAUSE OF ME.  YOU'RE WELCOME.

I had been wanting to try out this recipe for homemade ice cream for a while now.  

I found it on Gemma's Bigger Bolder Baking and it seemed so easy to make completely customized ice cream flavors.  It was!

Essentially, your ice cream base is just heavy cream and sweetened condensed milk, whipped, well mixed, and served piping cold.  After that, you can mix in whatever ingredients you want--fruit, chocolate, caramel, syrup, candy, nuts, bacon, literally anything--for personalized, custom ice cream creations.  It doesn't even take that long to freeze, and it stays pretty soft in the freezer, even in a container without a lid (which I can appreciate, because nobody in my house ever actually keeps the plastic bag I put around our ice cream containers on, so it's all hard when I go to get some ice cream and my spoon gets bent and aaaAKEGLAJWL)

ANYWAY, it was ridiculously simple and yielded enough for me to experiment and try out 5 homemade flavors.

Flavors (left to right): Cinnamon Swirl, Strawberry Delight, Peanut Butter Pretzel, Hot Cocoa, Mint Chip Cookie Dough (YAAAAAAS)

Hot Cocoa ice cream: made with chocolate powder and adorable marshmallows!  Also, I'm surprised at how much I like this picture.  Normally my photos don't look this good!

I can tell you right now that if you Google mint chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, it doesn't didn't exist.  As those are my two very favorite flavors, it seemed only fitting that I join them in matrimony.  Also, I made the cookie dough myself with this safe to eat, egg free recipe.

+1 for a match made in Food Heaven

I can honestly say I've never ever seen ice cream with cinnamon before, surprisingly.  Maybe it's just not available in the places I've lived--I'm an East Coast dweller.  But I've gotta say, someone needs to patent this because you'll make a fortune within a week.  It's like Pumpkin Spice, but not limited to seasons and way less #basic.

 Since we're talking about dessert anyway, check out these cookies I made for my sister's nurses in the Cardiac ICU!

Hearts for Cardiology!

I used my own little version of the water marble technique: you wanna melt your icing and spread it on with a spoon, then drip on some food coloring and use a toothpick to swirl and flick designs.  My personal favorite turned out to be the more Chevron-y patterns (they all got eaten before I took this picture).

Speaking of Rachael, she's doing awesome, beeteedubs.

She's been moved to the regular Cardiology unit, where she can recuperate without the need for a nurse on her constantly.  Not only that, but the room is able to accommodate family members to stay overnight.  I'd be staying with her, but I've got school to worry about, so I'll be up there on the weekends to give my mom and Grandad a chance to come home.

Hope this delightful little anecdote lifted your spirits from the seriousness of my last post!  Let me know what you thought of the video and whether I should make more!

AND THAT MEANS ACTUALLY COMMENT OR SOMETHING GUYS YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO LONELY

ECHO out.

On The Youngest, Strongest Trooper I've Ever Met

So it's been over a month since I posted anything here on The Spartan's Kitchen.  To be honest, I haven't really done much cooking at all lately.

My sister's been in the hospital since Tuesday, only about a week and a half after she was discharged from her last visit.  Long story short, she came down with pneumonia again, as her damaged heart valve served as a long-time conduit for blood to flush into her lungs, and everyone collectively decided that we couldn't put off surgery any longer.

She had to have her damaged valve replaced with a functional silicone valve. 

Now if you or someone in your family has undergone frequent hospital visits and/or important surgery, you know as well as I do that the stress factor is enough to shut you down from everything else in the world.

You're not interested in school,

Or work,

Hobbies start taking a backseat,

And sometimes, even just talking to someone is difficult underneath the weight of all the worry.

Because someone you love and cherish infinitely more than you ever thought possible is suffering from ailments that are putting their entire life on hold or at risk.

Imagine this:

A bright, beautiful sixteen year old girl.  It takes virtually nothing to make her happy.  She loves music, swimming, and school.  Some of her favorite activities are playing with her dogs (or any animal, rather), watching her favorite TV shows, splashing around in the water, and, of course, eating good food.

Now imagine this wonderful girl has been dealing with heart complications all her life.

Since the day she was born, one of her heart valves has been dramatically unreliable.  The first few months of her life were spent under constant intensive care from the staff at a top children's hospital.  Her very first heart surgery happened when most children aren't capable of retaining memories in life yet.  Since then, doctor's appointments and hospital visits have peppered the otherwise delightfully bright color of her existence.  Her school and play has to work around her next appointment.  Extreme caution must be taken to avoid allowing her to catch so much as a common cold, lest she spend the next week flushing out the fluid that will likely build up in her lungs because of it.

And you know what some of her doctors used to say about all of this?

"There's no hope for her case.  She won't live for very long.  Spend as much time with her while you can, because it won't be much.  There's just no helping her."

Doesn't that make you angry?  Are you mildly frustrated, maybe even livid, at the notion that anyone ever dared to deny a child hope for their life?

You know what she does?

She smiles.

And when you spend all your life rooting for this beautiful, wonderful person with the purest soul that surely ever graced the human race, watch her grow, play, learn, and enjoy her life more than most people, 

You hurt for them.

Now, to lighten the mood, her heart surgery was a complete success.

After being postponed several times for more reasons than there are spices in my kitchen (from colds we didn't know about to minor fender-benders), she finally went under on Wednesday.  It was a lot shorter than I personally expected, and we got frequent updates from one of her awesome nurses.  Everything was smooth sailing, and her body is now adjusting to the presence of the new valve and, more importantly, the sensation of her heart working properly for the first time ever.

Granted, she's still under sedation in the cardiac ICU, still swollen from the aftermath of the operation, and struggling to adjust her blood pressure properly.  She's also penciled in to be administered a paralytic drug that will force her body to stay still for a while to allow healing to take place, so we won't really be able to interact with her until maybe Sunday.  After that, it's 24/7 care from us (not like she doesn't get it already, but you know).  She'll hang out here, in probably the best hospital she's ever been in--A.I. duPont Hospital for Children--for a week to ten days, and when she gets home, she'll need to take it easy for a good month or so.  I mean, this is the third time she's had her chest cracked open and her heart worked on.  Her body is way overdue for vacation.

So in short, I'm devoting a lot of my time to visiting her with my family often, and being her second biggest advocate (because let's be real: moms are the best everything for their kids, especially our mom).  I'll cook and post when I can, but for the most part, I'll be right here, cheering my baby sister on and waiting for her to wake up and feel her body work like it was meant to.

And I know the first words that will come out of her mouth:

"Yay, you did it!!"

This is the prom dress Rachael would have worn this Saturday to her school's prom.  Handmade by our mom (told you moms are the best).

ECHO out.